Where Are You Now?
by LottieDot
Summary: Do you ever think of me? In the quiet, in the crowd? Jon thinks about the most important thing in his life. How he loved, lost and found her.
**A:N This is a work of procrastination induced sad music. I was having a hard time trying to write on my other stories so made this one to get back into the swing of things. Don't know if it helped me get focused but here it is, the shortest thing I've ever done.**

He had been aimlessly wandering the city, letting his feet take him where they may. By the time he realized where he was the rain had started to fall. He had pulled the collar of his will jacket up around his neck. His head craning to look at the top floor of the building across the street from him.

The lights of the apartment were all on. He knew they would be. She hated the dark now. She never used to but after the accident if there could be light she'd have it. He stood there and saw her sit before one of the windows. She looked out, but didn't see him. He was in the shadows. She opened her window to light a cigarette. He watched her until she picked up the guitar he had given to her.

He turned away then. He walked down the street in the rain and ducked into a bar to drink away his pain. He moved to the end of the bar and ordered a whiskey and drank it fast. He ordered a second one and sipped it this time. A slow song floated on the airwaves from the jukebox in the corner.

He knew the song. It was a relatively unknown Munford and Sons song called Where Are You Now. He shook at the words. They stung him raw. He had some feeling that this song was about him and the one who had left him.

He thought back on his relationship. He knew it had been wrong before it even started. He had been raised to be her brother. The fact that he had been adopted had not changed that fact. They had grown up together. When he left home for the service he had lied to everyone by saying it was his duty to go. The truth was he had started having feelings for the only person he loved and they were no longer feelings a brother should have for a sister. He was gone for six years before he had come home again.

By then he had felt he no longer had those feelings. He had been on a number of dates and even had two stable healthy relationships. But they had both ended bad. His first girlfriend died while on a deployment. It had taken him two years to move on from that, and the pain was still there. His second had ended when he refused to leave the service. The blond beauty he had been with had left him and tore his heart out at the same time.

So when his contract ended he had gone home. He was broken and no longer the boy his family had known, but a cold and distant man who was full of pain and fear. His family tried to bring him back but he pushed them all away. The one who breathed life back into him was the one he could never have.

He thought back to the first time they had kissed. He had been drinking and thinking of all the things he had done for the past six years, of all the death. He had wanted nothing more then to end it all, to not have the darkness take him back to those bad places in his memory. He had just gotten out of the shower and was thinking of getting his gun and ending it all when there was a knock on his door.

She had walked in and the look on her face stopped him. She was crying, she was in pain. He walked over to her and gathered her in his arms. Her cheek resting on his naked chest. She told him of the fight she had just had with her boyfriend. He just held her, trying to comfort her. He sat her in a chair and gave her a drink. She had made a comment about him only being in a towel. He had laughed and went to put on shorts.

They stayed up drinking that night. Drinking and talking. She told him of her boyfriend and he told her of his relationships. They had both cried some and held each other. When they got tired he carried her to his bed. He was going to leave her in the bed alone bad sleep on the couch. He saw her begin to take off her jeans and he gave her a shirt to sleep in. He took a pillow and made his bed up on the couch.

He had laid awake letting his thoughts digest everything he had learned that night. He had unburdened himself and he felt better now. She had healed him. He felt the love and desire that he had thought was behind him roar back to life, and it was a beast inside him, far worse then the darkness.

She had come out to the living room and stood at the foot of the couch. She told him she was scared to sleep alone in the dark. The accident she had been in made her not as have as she had been. He loved her more for the vulnerability she showed. He followed her back to his bed and she had molded her body to his as she fell asleep.

He was able to sleep that night in peace holding her. He had no bad dreams, no fear, no pain. When he woke at dawn her head was on his chest and his arms held her tight to him. He looked at her face. It was perfect. Her grey eyes were the only thing missing. He took the chance to do the thing he had wanted to do for so long. He tilted her face up and kissed her perfect lips softly.

His eyes were closed, but he felt her lashes flutter opened. To his surprise she kissed him back. He finally broke their kiss and she was looking him in the dawn. The didn't talk, they just acted. In moments they went from sleeping to making love. He felt his heart unlock and the parts he had lost were replaced with the love she gave to him.

After that their relationship had changed. She had said no one could know what they were doing, what they had done. They spent every moment they could together. They had a relationship, not the kind he wanted, but it was theirs. It all lasted for six months, six amazing months. Then something happened.

They had just gone out to dinner and were walking around town. Her hand was in his. She had been quite that day so he asked her what was wrong. They sat at a park bench and she kissed him softly. She then told them they had to end it. Their sister had found out.

He said he didn't care. He loved her. Then she told him she was offered a job out of town and was going to take it. He argued they could be together. But she said they would only hurt people if they stayed together. She was crying and he reached his hand out to cup her face but she stood and walked away from him.

That was two months ago. He was back to being hollow. He was back to being cold. He lived his life and went through the motions. His friends and family saw the changes in him. They saw the changes in her too. They were never together anymore.

He was still in the bar when the door opened. He looked up and she was standing in the door with an umbrella in her hands. She froze when she saw him. He looked back down at his drink and she walked over to the stage. More people filed in and took their seats. He cursed under his breath. He had forgotten that she played music at some of the basin her neighborhood.

She introduced herself and then started playing. All the songs were sad. He kept his head down and didn't look at her. If he looked he was lost. After half an hour of playing she said she was going to do the last song of the night.

She played the opening cords to Where Are You Now. He finally looked over to her and they locked eyes. She was singing just to him. He knew she was hurting just as bad as he was. When she finished the lights showed there were tears on her face.

He finished his drink and walked out into the rain. He stood beside the bar gasping for breath. The doors opened and he knew it was her.

"Jon."

He turned and looked at her.

"Hello Arya."

She walked closer to him.

"I miss you." She was right in front of him now. His hands burned with a need to touch her.

"I miss you too." He whispered. He closed the space between them and pulled her to him. They stood there for a moment in the rain, clinging to each other.

"I can't live without you in my life. But I can't have you as a brother. What can we do?" She asked softly.

"Let's go home. Together. We can work this out." He said. He took her face in his hands and kissed her.

 **A:N again. So what did you think? I am pretty nervous about this one. I think its because its not my typical style, or what I feel is my style. But I really enjoyed writing it. This is my first Jon/Arya thing. How did I do? I have to say I'm pretty much addicted to Mumford and Sons, they make me happy and they have great lyrics. So if you want play the song that inspired this story. I borrowed the title of the song for this fic. Let me know what you think.**

 **ps. I'm working on Wars, homest. I only get about 30-45 minutes a say to write and it took me a while to get the outline for the next chapter hammered out, but if i keep at the steady pace i've got going it should be out soon.**

 **Lots of love to you for reading, Lottie**


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